Thursday, February 11, 2010

When New Year Doesn't Feel Like It

For the pass 3 months, I've been in and out of this hospital. When it was christmas, they have the Christmas decorations on, when it was near Chinese New Year, of course they have the decorations on too.

But somehow, being at the hospital itself doesn't give me the feeling of celebration nor the joy of the season. It aches my heart to see patients after patients on their respective bed with drips connected to their veins through a needle... and I wonder what if I am in their place, will I be able to endure the pain through all the constant needle pricks? Will I ever have the courage to look at myself in the mirror when I am bald?

Someone asked me why have I look so haggard lately. I have no idea how do I answer them. Indeed, I am very tired of everything. From dealing with housework to working freelance on some project to get a side income for me to spend during my last semester which will be starting soon in just less than 20 days time and to helping out my aunt with the baking and to some house chores. Then my family made a remark recently that I don't pay attention to them when they are talking to me. It is not that I don't want to, it is because my brain is constantly thinking and working that I can't help it at times it just switches to something else or it just switches off and I have no idea what's going on. It is like I am tune to another FM wave all of a sudden without me knowing it - in short, I am really exhausted - mentally and physically. I feel like I am slowing burying myself in a mining land full of dynamites...

I know 2010 is going to be great, but will I get through it feeling fabulous and joy?

I will if I constantly believe I will. So I know I will - 2010 is going to be fabulous! (pardon me, i have to always remind myself about this)  After all, I am an OX.  Oxen works hard and will endure all hardship coming his/her way!


6 comments:

pop said...

take it easy eileen ! dont stress urself too much !

pop said...

take it easy eileen ! dont stress urself too much !

e-leen said...

pop: i am not stress out... just feeling tired that's all. :D

Demetrius said...

As we grow older, many of us forget how to relax and have fun; we forget how to enjoy life and the people around us because we get caught up with so many other things. The more responsibilities we have and the busier we get, it becomes difficult to maintain a fun-loving relationship with family and friends. I guess we have to learn how to find a balance in life because too much stress at work and not enough joy at home will eventually break us down. Both of us have to learn how to relax and take life easier for awhile. There will always be time for work, but family and friends don't last forever.:)

Demon said...

take care! and fret not! The Year of the Tiger is gonna be a fab year!!

e-leen said...

demetrius: that's why there's the word "regret". we tend to miss all the things in front of our eyes and search for something elsewhere. I planning to work hard now (while i am still young) and grab every opportunity there is but i'll definitely keepeverything in balance :D

demon: thanks! yup! its goin to be fab for me!! :D