Monday, June 27, 2011

Not gone, just hiding...

Sorry I've been away for about more than 2 months that feels like a whole 2 years to me...

there were the ups and downs... which have partially made me insane... (literally speaking....)

well.....for the first 5 minutes, for many, many days that i've been trying to type out a post... I am always stuck here. Lost at words.

The many, many days has gone and I realize it has been more than 60 days ago since the first time I tried to write something here which end up with nothing....and I just could not find myself transferring my thoughts to the keyboard....

So many words, so many occasions, so many memories, so many thoughts, so many sorrows, so many stories, so many happy moments...that I wanted to share...yet decide that I don't feel like it...i just didn't know where to start or wonder is it relevant anymore to share....

so forgive me for being selfish, for not being able to blog, for not being able to be the old self I was - cheerful, always positive, always looking forward to things. I realize a certain things that happen to me had changed me and it has somehow suck away my confidence in life.

I continue to pretend and act as if I've overcome all the obstacles. I act as if I am no longer in suffocation. Well, please just pretend along with me that I am ok. For I will feel better when my weakness is not being spotted.

Don't worry. I am ok. I just need time to rediscover myself. I've fall too deep (deeper than I thought it was), and climbing up needs lots of strength and time. So please bare with me and show me some support maybe - by pretending i am ok??? by not asking what happen??

Eileen will be back... promise...

ps: please forgive me for another emotional post.